I'M TRYING TO TELL U ABOUT THE BABY JESUS!!!!!

Its Christmas time again & I love celebrating Christmas as a parent.  Brian & I get to make memories with our kids.  We also get to make family traditions of our own, that hopefully, our kids will want to share with their kids. Abbey is all about church, she's always loved to go.  Bother likes church as well, but doesn't have a good grasp on the whole reason yet.  Last Christmas, I found a nice, simple, book that tells the story of  the first Christmas. I was happy, & couldn't wait to get all 3 of the kids together on our bed & read it to them. Yes, Dash was only 4 months but he got to take part too. Back to the story interupters.  Anyway, as many of you may already know Brother is... prickly.  He's very much like me, I know, thats what I get, stifle yourself & let me tell my story. They all got on the bed that night, there was a little bit of protest from Brother, I don't remember why, but there was. He started out listening to the story & looking at the pictures but then, something happened & he wanted to get down, I said no, you can get down when we're done with the story. I was trying to have a sweet, tender, Motherly moment with the children, where I talked softly with them & to them.  Anyone that knows me, knows I RAREly do sweet & tender, its just not in my makeup. So Brother goes to get out of the bed, for whatever he wants & I say no wait till I'm done. Then his voice gets all high & whiney & he says but I want do whatever it was that he wanted to do. This happens twice more & finally I'm sick of it. I lose the sweet voice, grab him at the shoulder & sit him down while I yell "SIT DOWN, I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE BABY JESUS"!!!!  Just then, Brian walks by the bedroom door, cocks his head to the side, smiles and says "That's beautiful", in the dry & sarcastic way only he can. I resume the story telling, once again in my sweet voice, with Brother's back turned toward me. He still wants to hear the story & see the pictures, but he doesn't want to give me the satisfaction of winning, so he cranes his neck around as far as it will go. As I hold the book up to Abbey so she can see the pictures, I do the same thing with him & he snaps his head back around & says humph. That was not the picture ferfect moment I wanted it to be, but it was a memory I'll always cherish.     

Shortcomings

As a parent, you have to deal with all kinds of emotions that you thought you had left long behind or made peace with. When I was ten years old, I was diagnosed with a learning deficit. Its called Dyscalculia and its a learning deficit in math. Before I was diagnosed, every night that I had math homework, was a tearful, anxiety filled, torture session. While I excelled in all other classes, I didn't just fail at math, it was a daily defeat. I was constantly embarrassed & sometimes I even cried in class. The only math I truly ever mastered, was double digit addition. Hell, I was nearly an adult before I could tell time, on a watch that wasn't digital. Fast forward twenty years, & I have a daughter in school. Every year the math gets more & more difficult for me. I even acknowledged the fact with my Aunt last year. I told her that in a few years, I wouldn't be able to help her with her math homework anymore. My Aunt's a math teacher, just thought you should know that. I didn't know at the time, that the next year of school, would be when I could no longer help her. Abigail is in second grade & two months ago they started Pre-Algebra, & that was it. She was fighting through it & then she could do it. They spent about three weeks on that before they went on to Algebra. Abbey was on the A Honor Roll. Last week, I believe it was Monday, she went to the study to do her math & after being in there a while, she came out & asked me to help her. I told Brian (that night) that I looked at it like an illiterate man must look at a book. There was nothing there that I could understand. Suddenly I had a lump in my throat & my face felt hot. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. I was trying to swallow that lump down so I could speak. Finally, (it felt like we sat there five minutes but I know it was only a minute) I told her, in the strongest voice that I could muster, we'd ask her daddy when he got home. I know she knew something was wrong she's a very sensitive kid. I went to my bedroom & cried just like I had when I was a child. I was embarrassed & defeated all over again. I couldn't help my kid with her homework. I had to quickly deal with all those inadequacy issues I had long forgotten. I knew there would come a time when I wouldn't be able to help her & I knew that, but I wasn't prepared for the shame I felt. I think every parent probably feels that way at sometime. We just have to admit our shortcomings, hope that our kids don't make fun of us, & keep going.

Mamacita Frugalista

So I'm a stay at home Mom and my husband and I are not rich by any stretch of the imagination. We have three children, so we have a household of five. I'm diligent in finding the best deals I can. Let me give you a run down on how you can live frugaly but well.

Clothing: If you have a little girl, all those pretty sun dresses can still be worn in the Fall & even Winter. For toddlers buy 2 or 3 mock turtle neck, long sleeved onesies. Not the Onesie brand but its a thick one piece just like a onesie. You put on some white stockings & there you go, instant new outfit. This also works with older girls, just instead of a one piece, you buy a plain mock turtle neck.

If you have boys & girls, buy unisex clothing. You can get away with this for babies very easily. My daughter is the oldest & while I loved all the frilly, girly clothes, I thought she was especially cute in some things that weren't necessarily for girls.  As she got a little older I bought her "boy jeans" because they fit her better.

Shoes are great too.  Buy Saddle Oxfords, because they can be used for boys or girls & the same goes for penny loafers.  Every time Abbey grew out of one pair of oxfords, we just got her another pair. By the time Brother came along, he had four pairs of oxfords in four different sizes and because little one's grow so quick, all shoes clothes look brand new.

The older they get, you can go to 2nd hand stores or thrift stores in upscale neighborhoods.  Those places have brand & even designer names (if thats important to you) for a fraction of the cost. I've bought several brand name overall & one piece suits for prices as low as 99 cents & they all looked brand new.  Also take advantage of season change sales at department stores.  In early spring you can buy an obscene amount of winter clothes for extremely cheap.  Buy the sizes larger & by winter, they'll fit perfectly.

Toys: You can find alot of expensive toys at good thrift stores.  One Saturday about four months ago, I bought nearly two hundred dollars worth of toys for 35 dollars.  They were Leapfrog brand & Fisher Price.  Leapfrog brand toys are expensive.  Also go to whatever close out stores are in your area. Here in Dallas, I love Tuesday Morning & Big Lots.  When it gets near Christmas, Mattel opens outlet shops that are only open through the Holidays.  You can go to Mattel's website & find out where the one near you is.  Last year we bought Hot Wheels cars for 25 cents & whole Hot Wheels race track sets for nine dollars. I mean the BIG track sets. We had Barbie & High School Musical dolls, clothes & playsets coming out of our ears. I think we ended up buying something like 700 dollars worth of Mattel toys for about 200 bucks. If you buy from the Mattel outlet, they have coupons online that you can use at the outlet so you end up getting another 25% off.

Dollar stores: All dollar stores aren't dollar only stores. The best dollar store is Dollar Tree because everything there is a dollar. They have good quality stuff too.  I buy all my cleaning suppies there, yes they are off brands but they clean just the same.  However, I don't buy their off brand pine cleaner because theres not as much pine oil in it as there is in Pine Sol.  If I can't smell the pine fresh scent, then what good is it?  Then theres Dollar General.  Everything's not a dollar at Dollar General it's more of a discount store.  I go there for just a couple of things in particular, Diapers & Pull Ups.  Yes, I buy off brand diapers & pull ups & they're terrific.  I'm really, extremely pickie, when it comes to diapers so these diapers must be * off the chain.  They don't have a brand name, the bag just says Ultra Premium Diapers.  They have the cloth like feel, they don't smell like some other brands do & I get just as many diapers for about 10 dollars less.  The same goes for the pull ups.  I get the same amount of pull ups for also about 10 dollars less.  The actual Pull Ups brand are wildly expensive for the quantity you get.  The final coup de grace of Dollar General is, they have clothes.  Every now & again they have good name brand clothes.  I bought Brian a pair of Hagar Slacks for 7 dollars.  I smiled for the rest of that day.  Whenever I think about it, I smile.  Nothing feels as good as a great deal.  Next there's the 99 cent Lucky grocery store.  Everything there is 99 cents.  They don't have meat (if they did I wouldn't buy it) but they do have produce.  They're produce is great & they have a large variety of groceries.

My last tip is one of my favorites. The Swiffer Sweeper is wonderful if you have a house that's mostly carpet, like mine. There are only three areas of the house that need to be mopped, two bathrooms & a kitchen.  The thing about the Swiffer is the refill cleaning solution & the pads. CVS & Walgreens now have their brand of Swiffer pads, which are about four dollars cheaper.  You still have to buy the solution which is expensive, but I've gotten around that.  When your Swiffer cleaning solution bottle is empty, you get a pair of pliers & twist the top off.  After you've opened it with the pliers once, you never have to use the pliers to open it again.  Once you've got the top off you mix your own solution with Pine Sol and twist the top back on.  When you use it all, you repeat twisting off the cap & refilling it.

That concludes my money saver tip post.  I hope that this helps other people's families to save money.  I'm almost positive that I have more money saving tips, but for now, that's all I've got.      

Ayelet Waldman isn't alone, nor should she be

In 2005, Ayelet Waldman an author,(she's under Resources on your right) made a comment about how she loved her husband more than she loved her children. Mothers all around America lost it & villified her. If you look at it from a biblical stand point, we're supposed to feel that way. Genisis 2: 24-25 For this cause, a man shall leave his father & mother & cleave to his wife, & they shall become one flesh. When married people take their vows, the official says, at one point "let no man put asunder", that means children too. Mothers forget that their children are only with them for a time. You're not raising your children to be of one flesh. You're raising your children so you can push them out of the nest. Because families have become disjointed, & divorce has been so pervasive, I think mothers have tried to become one flesh with their children. When you get married, the official also says "till death do you part" but people don't take that seriously anymore. It used to be, that couples stayed married until death. For example, my Father- in -laws parents were married for sixty sum odd years. I don't know how long they were married before my father-in-law (Don) came along, (he's the oldest) but lets just say it was five years. So they spent five years together alone & then their first child was born. I don't know exactly what the age difference is between Don & his brother, but lets say three years. So Don's parents raised children for about twenty one years, if I'm right about the age difference. Don's father lived to be in his eighty's & his mother is still alive. That means that they spent more than forty years together, just the two of them. You have to love your spouse more than your child to do that. You're going to bed & waking up with this same person for sixty years. You're eating dinner with this same person for sixty years. You have company, when the children come, for twenty out of the sixty. Our plan is to be married until one of us is carried out of the house feet first. Brian & I acknowledge that on July 18th 1998, we became one flesh, that no man will put asunder, till death do us part. That our children are gonna grow up & leave the nest. That we will be alone, together for (hopefully) years after the children are no longer in our company. So that means, for me & Ayelet Waldman, that we love our husbands more than our children.    

Dash: The most diabolicle toddler, this side of the Mississip

My youngest son's given name is James Arthur Hines Mason. I gave him the nickname Dash because the Holy Spirit told me of his nature while I was still carrying him. From the moment he was born, he's been a handful. He has a curious, "devil may care"  personality. He's also mean as a snake. He tortures his older brother (Brother) by pulling his hair, screaming as loud as he can in Brother's room, hitting him with toys or throwing said toys at him. With me, he plays a little game I call snatch & run. I'm sure you know why I call it that. He loves to use my cell phone or the remote for this game. The only toys he really likes are cars. The way he plays is by dumping out Brother's toys or emptying any drawer he can open. He also likes eyes. He'll poke his finger into anybody's eyes, even his own. He is, by far, the most busy of my three children. He doesn't listen when you tell him no or stop. I pop his legs or hands & he'll go right back to doing what I tell him not to do. This goes on all day, everyday. I must admit, instead of chasing after him, there are some days when I don't even try. I just let him tear the house apart. I always come to Brother's rescue when Dash is doing something to him, but like I said there are days (few & far between) when I just sit & watch him pull the drawers open in my desk and toss out all of it. In those times, I look at him & the mess, with complete indifference. The only person he seems to really respond to is Abbey. We've only had the one incident when he tackled her, knocked her down & tried to bite her. She is usually who he goes to for comfort & to actually play with. I don't know why he revels in the presence of Abbey & seems to take pleasure in hurting Brother, but that's the way it is.         

I'm not every woman. it's not all in me (This does not apply to single mothers)

First of all, Feminists, you can kiss my black behind. I'm not saying if you work, you're a bad mother. What I am saying is, if you're working & raising a family, somethings gonna fall by the way side. Once again, I'm not calling working mothers bad mothers. I just want to ask all the working mothers to let 65% of your best go to your children & 35% to your job. If you look around, you'll see that our young'ens are out of control. That's because they're not getting the attention they need. Extra curricular activities are good, but don't fill your child's scheduele so full that they're stressed out. A lot of parents do that too because of their jobs. While their kids are playing soccer, tennis, karate & gymnastics, they have time to get more work done, under the guise of making their kids "more well rounded". Once again, let me state, I'm not saying extra curriculars are bad, they're wonderful, but make sure you're doing it for the right reasons & that you're not overdoing it. There is no reason that a child should have an extra curricular activity for everyday of the week. Secondly, pray for your children. They need prayer just like adults do. They have lots to overcome in the world. Talk to your kids, starting as an infant. I think one of the reasons Abbey talked so early (she didn't walk till she was 16 months) & so much is because I talked to her like I was talking to another adult. I didn't use baby talk, I used big words. She now has an extremely large & sophisticated vocabulary. Explain the value of a dollar to your kids & let them make some of their own financial decisions. Let me give you an example. Abbey & Brother's birthday are a week apart, so we celebrate their birthdays together. This year, instead of have a big over down birthday party, like in years passed, we let them go on a shopping spree with the money we would have spent on an elaborate party. They each had a set amount of money they could spend & when it was gone it was gone. Abbey had some things in her basket but she also wanted a dollhouse. I told her she could have all the stuff she had in the basket & more, or she could get the one dollhouse. She took stock of the stuff she had in her basket and thought on it while we checked out and went to the next store. She decided she would keep the stuff we bought & get more stuff at the other store. It wasn't a major decision but it was her decision to reason out for herself. This does not apply to single mothers.

Tip: If you've always had big birthday parties in the past, you might want to try giving your kid a shopping spree for their next birthday. Usually when you go to the store, your kids know buying "this & that" is not an option. This is one time they can go to the store & get whatever they want (within reason) & you can say yes. Its a whole lot of fun & its a lesson in economics as well.

The Power of Guilt, & Shame

For me, as a parent, whoopin' or spanking, is the last resort and it should be to you too. That's unless you have one of those children that are B-A-D( I think that's gonna be my youngest boy when he gets older). Tuesday, I picked Abbey up from school & when we got home I quickly discovered she had cut a diamond shape in her school shirt. They wear uniforms so this is a uniform shirt. It's a 3 button polo type shirt with the school's name & logo stitched on the left hand side. The cost of the short-sleeved shirt is seventeen dollars and (I wanna say) eighty five cents. After tax it's nearly twenty dollars so you understand why I was hot under the collar (no pun intended). I asked her what happened, & she started telling me this story about a boy doing it & she was stammering & so I just stopped her & reminded her of our house policy. If you lie it's an automatic whoopin'. So, like I said, I stopped her mid elaborate sentence & said "so if I call your teacher, she's gonna tell me that you didn't do it, that a boy in class did it?" I could practically see the wheels turning in her mind. She was weighing the likelihood of me calling her teacher & realized there was a 98% (cause I was upset) chance of me calling & a 2% chance of me forgetting it all together. She didn't like those odds & she told me the truth. She cut the shape out of her shirt. I told her I was gonna tell her Daddy. That immediately invoked tears cause she hates to disapoint her Daddy. All through homework I kept bringing it up. Here's where the guilt & shame come in. I told her she ought to be ashamed at how disrespectful she was being to her Daddy, by doing what she did. Her Daddy works hard everyday to be able to afford school uniforms. Mind you, this is all done in your regular speaking voice, not yelling or being animated & always while shaking your head back and forth. Finally Daddy came home. His disapointed voice is even better than mine cause he's naturally softspoken. He told her five shirts cost one hundred dollars & I interjected that, that was half the amount of the dollhouse she wants, to really bring it all into perspctive for her. Hetold her you mine as well take a twenty dollar bill, crumple it up & put it in the trash. So I got a dollars worth of quarters out of my purse & asked her if she wanted it. She didn't say anything at first, I know she thought it was a trick. I asked her again do you want this dollar & she she said yes. I asked her what she would like to buy at the dollar store with that dollar. She slowly started naming stuff she liked at the dollar store. A pair of High School Musical socks or lip gloss, maybe some candy. As she was naming things she started to come out of her funk. I'm sure she was thinking this was an odd outcome, getting rewarded for doing something wrong. When she was done naming things i told her to get up & go put that dollars worth of quarters in the compactor trash. She slowly got up, mouth poked out, and put the quarters in the trash. I had just dashed her dreams of Hannah Montana & High School Musical socks. Brian (Daddy) reminded her that her other 3 new uniform shirts still had not come in, so she would be washing her one good shirt by hand. She was none to pleased with that outcome but we were.

Tip: If you have a Dollar Tree in your neighborhood & you haven't been there, go. Everything there is really a dollar & they have good stuff. I wouldn't use the washing powder & their version of Pine Sol is useless but the rest of their stuff is great. I've bought all my other cleaning supplies there for about 3 years now. As well as snacks & Juice for the kids. They have juice boxes that are 100% juice & they also have, (for children who don't like water) Junior water. It's water with a hint of fruit flavor that's organic & has 100% vitamin C. Abbey loves it & its hard to get her to drink water. I use it as a treat for Brother cause he likes water.