Welcome or Hey y'all!

Before I had any children at all, I started & ran my own daycare. I followed in my Grandmothers footsteps when I did so. In essence, I just imitated what I'd watched her do for years. When our first child (Abbey) came along it was like the stork brought her because she was adopted. She was four weeks old & already sleeping through the night. Now that I think back on it, she was more like an extention of my daycare or a doll baby. What I mean is that I had full confidence in my mothering of her. Three years later, I came up pregnant & we were all delighted. I laughed like the biblical Sarah for 8 months. It wasn't until after I had him that the fear set in. I put on an exteremely convincing *front. Even my husband (Brian) didn't know I was scared to death. You see, I hadn't done this before. He was brand new & I was nursing & I'm a person who, by nature is high strung & I'd had a C-section & on & on. Because I had a C-section he was early by just a couple of weeks. His doctor informed us that the last thing on a baby to grow are its ears, so he had paper thin little ears that flopped forward. His pediatrician told us to keep a hat pulled down over the tops of his ears to hold them in place. I tried to keep that hat pulled down but all the hats were too big for his head and kept sliding up & pushing one of his ears forward. A month or so went by & the cartiledge in his ears got stronger but the top of that one ear had a permanent, pinky finger sized dimple in it and still does to this day. I had already failed him & he was only a month old. To the Mothers & women who want to be Mothers, I told you this story to tell you that you are not a hybrid of Claire Huxtable & Bree Van de Kamp. Those women aren't real. You are not perfect & you will fail your child or children at some point. But be not discouraged. You are not a failure & you are not alone.

Friday, September 11, 2009

I'm not every woman. it's not all in me (This does not apply to single mothers)

First of all, Feminists, you can kiss my black behind. I'm not saying if you work, you're a bad mother. What I am saying is, if you're working & raising a family, somethings gonna fall by the way side. Once again, I'm not calling working mothers bad mothers. I just want to ask all the working mothers to let 65% of your best go to your children & 35% to your job. If you look around, you'll see that our young'ens are out of control. That's because they're not getting the attention they need. Extra curricular activities are good, but don't fill your child's scheduele so full that they're stressed out. A lot of parents do that too because of their jobs. While their kids are playing soccer, tennis, karate & gymnastics, they have time to get more work done, under the guise of making their kids "more well rounded". Once again, let me state, I'm not saying extra curriculars are bad, they're wonderful, but make sure you're doing it for the right reasons & that you're not overdoing it. There is no reason that a child should have an extra curricular activity for everyday of the week. Secondly, pray for your children. They need prayer just like adults do. They have lots to overcome in the world. Talk to your kids, starting as an infant. I think one of the reasons Abbey talked so early (she didn't walk till she was 16 months) & so much is because I talked to her like I was talking to another adult. I didn't use baby talk, I used big words. She now has an extremely large & sophisticated vocabulary. Explain the value of a dollar to your kids & let them make some of their own financial decisions. Let me give you an example. Abbey & Brother's birthday are a week apart, so we celebrate their birthdays together. This year, instead of have a big over down birthday party, like in years passed, we let them go on a shopping spree with the money we would have spent on an elaborate party. They each had a set amount of money they could spend & when it was gone it was gone. Abbey had some things in her basket but she also wanted a dollhouse. I told her she could have all the stuff she had in the basket & more, or she could get the one dollhouse. She took stock of the stuff she had in her basket and thought on it while we checked out and went to the next store. She decided she would keep the stuff we bought & get more stuff at the other store. It wasn't a major decision but it was her decision to reason out for herself. This does not apply to single mothers.

Tip: If you've always had big birthday parties in the past, you might want to try giving your kid a shopping spree for their next birthday. Usually when you go to the store, your kids know buying "this & that" is not an option. This is one time they can go to the store & get whatever they want (within reason) & you can say yes. Its a whole lot of fun & its a lesson in economics as well.






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I use slang & "real talk". An asteric (*) will d-note words you may not be familiar with. For those words, use the link for urbandictionary.com under Resourses.