Getting your bluff in

As a Southern Black Mom or SBM, I do things a certain way. First I must say that Southerners do things different from the rest of America. Being a Black Southerner is a club of sorts. You may have seen a Black Mom out with her child or children & the little ones start to get a little rowdy. The Black Mom will cast her eyes sideways and down at the tiny offenders. She may even tighten or purse her lips a little and the kids immediately stop their offensive action. The reason the children snap to attention so quickly is because The Black Mom got her bluff in years ago. Here's what the bluff is. Those children think Black Mom is C-R-A-Z-Y. They don't know how crazy or when she got this way, but those children trust & believe that she is. To be a mom, black, white or green, your child has to believe "My Mama is *throw'd off". They don't know exactly what you'll do to them, but they know if they've been warned, and they continue to act out, the outcome will not be a good one. Here's an example from my childhood. When I was sick or if my Grandmother or Mother had something they needed to do, I would always go over to our Pastor's house and stay. The Pastor's wife (Matlock) would take care of me and I loved her like she was my other Grandmother. In the corner of their bedroom stood a shotgun & in the bathroom there was a hatchet on the little table. I never even thought of touching either of those things. It's not because I thought I would blow my head off with the shotgun or cut my foot off dropping the hatchet, I was too little for that kind of forethought. It was because I thought Grandmother would literally kill me and it wouldn't be a quick death either. I thought my Grandmother would beat me to death with her bare hands. She had never done anything to me as brutal as that before, but the thing was, she told me she would convincingly enough for me to believe it. That right there is the bluff.  When she told me she was gonna beat the tar out of me, her whole demeanor changed. Her body language said it, her eyes said it and those were the words that were coming out of her mouth. I knew when she said we were going to the store, we got up, got in the car and drove to the store. So why now, when she was saying this with even more conviction, would she be lying to me. She wouldn't! This is not a tactic you can start when your child is ten. You have to start this at an early age. Now I'm not just saying walk around only saying crazy stuff to your kid all the time. You have to temper it. Make it a nice even mix so your child will know that they can come to you with anything, as they get older. But thats a post for another time. Until then, lets try a few sayings:

1. I will knock you into next week!
2. You don't believe fat meat is greasy! (As a warning)
3. I will beat the tar out of you!
4. Do it again & see what happens!
5. I will slap the taste out your mouth!